Unleashing Contained Chaos

Where are your edges?

Those limits you give yourself for how you show up in any given situation. 

How you feel.

How you communicate.

Who you allow yourself to be.

We all have them. 

But are you sure they’re yours?

Which boxes are your own, and which have you inherited?

From your family, society, maybe a well meaning mentor from your past?

There’s safety in these boxes.

We define the edges and the middle becomes our playground in any given situation.

It’s encouraged! 

We learn in kindergarten that the goal is to color inside the lines. To remain confined within what’s proper. What’s acceptable. What’s lovable.

In many ways, it’s probably a good idea..

It creates calm. 

We like knowing where those limits are.

Compartmentalizing ourselves into little boxes, and knowing which box to play in for every situation we enter into. 

When life feels out of control, we can find sweet comfort in knowing we can look to the lines and feel some control over our metaphorical crayons. 

Oftentimes, my art reflects this notion of encapsulated energies.

Not just in the piece, but in the ritual.

My studio is my container for creation. I settle in, and in that space I allow whatever comes.

In some of my pieces, I start with a grid.

The order.

The clean lines.

The safety in organized containers for whatever shows up next.

Then. 

In each little box…a whole world emerges.

Tiny microcosms of color, shape, and pattern. 

Bright. Dark. Contrasting. 

Sometimes similarities occur within the boxes. 

A certain pattern may migrate over from one box to the other. 

A color may theme itself through many different locations.

Some boxes feel similar, like they might have some common ground. 

Others, appear so disconnected they might as well be strangers from different planets.

The human experience can feel that way. 

Life can be a kaleidoscope of experiences, expressions of self, phases, roles, and ways of being.

Trying them on, living through them. 

Sometimes resonating. 

Sometimes resisting. 

But always learning. Always discovering. 

I’ve been working on a new grid recently.

Inside each precise square, I placed a cut out of an old piece of my art.

Different timelines. Different versions. Different expressions.

Organized and arranged into something new.

A fresh jigsaw of the former and familiar. 

This time a fluid line emerged.

Breaking through the grid. Challenging the order and bringing together the seemingly disparate.

Maybe that’s the true goal of life.

To organize ourselves, our experiences, our feelings, ourselves, into little boxes.

To understand and contain the different parts of what makes us who we are.

Then bravely, break out of the boxes and sew the pieces together with string. 

So, friends, choose your lines. Play within them. Organize your chaos. Then, when you’re ready, use all of it to create a tapestry.

Then whatever box you find yourself in, you can choose to stay within the lines, or flow throughout them.

Finding your freedom.